Monday, November 12, 2012
The Emperor of All Maladies
Jon came home from the hospital saturday afternoon feeling a few degrees from normal. He went on a 90 minute bike ride less than 24-hours later. This is the face of cancer treatment that we did not imagine: the juxtaposition of valleys and normalcy. Jon's white count went from 1.5 to 9.3 in fifteen hours. This is partially due to Nuepogen, the drug that he has been injecting into his stomach for a week. The second night in the hospital (as Jon waited for his counts to rise), he experienced severe bone pain (a side effect of Nuepogen). Given he has never felt this type of "deep pain" before, his imagination was left to its' own devices. He did not know if his counts were rising or if he was descending....and he fought all night with the mental fear. On the day Jon announced his diagnosis at church, a wise sage and friend whispered to him, "the fear is the hardest part". This is true to Jon's experience. I just picked up the book, The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer written by Siddhartha Mukherjee. Written by an oncologist, it weaves science with the history, of cancer, patient stories, and social context. Cancer, in many ways, has a "personality"--the evolving non-conformist that "exploits the very features that make us successful as a species and an organism." Jon will have a chest catheter inserted this week for round 2 of chemo, which begins Monday November 19th. He will also see his oncologist, Dr. Padmanabhan, to assess the "mothership".
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Jesus, hear us, and let our cry come unto Thee.
ReplyDeleteFear not, He does hear us!
That is an awesome book, in many senses of the word! May this particular emperor be dethroned, for Jon and so many others.
ReplyDeleteChadd and I want you to know that we're thinking of you and praying for you. And we love you both. Tons. May God's blessings rain down on you and fill you to brimming.
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have the words of such sages.
I want to add, but only if this is helpful (I don't think everyone has to spend so much energy treading this water) -- all around that rock of fear swirl the eddies of anger and despair.
They get their power from the very source of our strength: our will to fight. Only it feels like we're beaten when we're in that water.
If those dark places take you over for a while, it's OK. It'll pass. Like your night of pain and fear. I suppose one can see it like a spiritual forge: hot, then cold, beating our spirit into a finer metal. The one that finds a better balance in the hand and can fight the demons of this disease with poise and Grace.
With Love and Light from the McLaughlins
a 90 minute ride on the bike Jon won!!
ReplyDeleteGo Team Jon!
ReplyDeleteI found some great quotes about fear here
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/05/11/22-inspirational-quotes-on-fear/
The Super Family (Sarah, Josh and Jake) are thinking of you and have you in our prayers. You are both amazing and, although we are so sad that you have to go through this, your strength as protrayed through these blogs inspires us. Hang in there. We are sending lots of love. XO
ReplyDelete~ Practice Hope ~
ReplyDeleteby Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Dare to practice hope.
Dare to let the assurance steal upon you
that something is coming,
something greater,
deeper, not merely more,
but more so.
This is not cheap optimism
that can be bought in any market,
nor a careful figuring of odds
that can always be beat,
nor mindless abandon.
I mean attentiveness to the
dense but dappled energy
that rises within. I mean willingness
to be taken up,
to be wielded deftly in this rough world
by an art that is beyond you.
You are a thread in a tapestry
too large for you ever to see,
a single leaf in springtime.
Practice hope:
let summer unfurl itself in you
and then, only afterward,
will you know that miracle of which
already you are a living sign.
Peace & grace & hope to you all, Jon, Sarah and boys.
Valerie
Sarah Lynn and Jon--
ReplyDeleteYOU GUYS ARE IN OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.
Cinnamon
Jon and Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYou two kick some serious a**! Keep on kicking a**. We love you and your two little muchkins. ;) Love, positivity and prayers are coming your way.
The Robinson clan is all praying for you, Jon. There are no words to tell you how sad we all are that you are going through this. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers as you fight this battle. Stay strong and know that an army of family and friends are fighting with you.
ReplyDelete